At last, the email I have been waiting for – and expecting. For quite a long time, actually, although I was never in any doubt that it was coming. Would I write a short piece about being the most fashionable man in the Guardian? Of course, with pleasure.
Specifically, it’s about my footwear: Crocs. You know, the rubbery plastic clogs with holes and a strap that first appeared 15 years ago, and were embraced the world over by toddlers, chefs, surgeons and other cool people such as George W Bush? I have a pair, in chocolate brown, that I wear around the office. They are very comfy, light (amazingly so), practical, durable and cool. My feet don’t get sweaty, In winter, I wear socks too, like Dubya. But also I do feel pretty cool in them.
I’ve heard the comments, though: the tuts and titters, a glance down and then a “really?” or “still?” A kind member of the fashion desk once even took me aside for a word.
Yeah, well, no one’s tutting or tittering now, are they? It comes as no surprise to me to find that Crocs are very much back, ever since Christopher Kane sent Croc-shod models down the catwalk at his spring show. We know, Chris and I. And it’s good news for the models, too, as they would have found them very comfortable.
So Christopher’s are encrusted with sparkling rocks and crystals, and will set you back £275, which is a little more than the £29.99 you pay for classic pair (considerably less if you go fake, I’ve heard). But I’m thinking that, with a few carefully chosen pebbles (free from most good beaches, where, incidentally, you’ll find Crocs to be the perfect footwear), and a tube of Super Glue (a couple of quid from the corner shop), I will be able to achieve a similar effect.
I’ll probably feature them, with pictures, in my new style column, which can’t now be long in coming. Ciao.