The Marriage Is Over, though a Jewelry Is Mine

“Horses, booze and valuables — they always seem to disappear,” pronounced Nancy Chemtob, a Manhattan matrimonial lawyer, herself divorced. “One customer has a booze collection and a divorcing associate has a celebration and a booze is all gone. The equine always dies. The valuables gets sold, even nonetheless we consternation if he or she indeed sole it. We never unequivocally know.”

Divorce filings typically swell during a spin of a new year.

“I know a lot of people feel it’s a highlight of a Christmas holiday,” pronounced Madeline Marzano-Lesnevich, a New Jersey counsel who is boss of a American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. “But we privately consider that people contend to themselves, ‘It’s a new year, we wish to start a new life for myself.’”

Limor Shaya-Rosenberg of Roslyn N.Y., would tell Ms. Chemtob right adult front that she lied about a valuables (yes she did) after her 18-year matrimony snapped like a pearl necklace.

“I told my ex-husband we sole a bullion Rolex he bought me in a Bahamas to compensate for a divorce lawyer, though he knew we had it. He saw it on me,” Ms. Shaya-Rosenberg said. “I’m wearing it right now.”

“He pronounced he bought a Rolex for himself, so it became a conflict during a beginning,” Ms. Shaya-Rosenberg added. She pronounced primarily she hold out wish that their problems competence work themselves out, afterwards satisfied that offering a valuables meant a matrimony was, during slightest for her, finally over.


Ms. Shaya-Rosenberg, given her matrimony ended, has sole a Tiffany attract bracelet, solid earrings, a solid horseshoe match and more. “I do what we need to do to survive,” she said.

An Rong Xu for The New York Times

A need for income stirred Ms. Shaya-Rosenberg to sell a Tiffany attract bracelet, solid earrings, a solid horseshoe match and more.


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“There’s a male here in Roslyn, during Gold Coast Jewelers, who became my new best friend,” she said. She even sole her solid rendezvous ring to send her 3 boys to camp.

She has entered a area of ex-spouses who find to make a distinction off their spurned jewelry, in an embarrassment-of-riches arrange of way. Now that she has a son in college, she’s looking to sell a solid Cartier watch.

“I do what we can to keep life fast for my boys,” pronounced Ms. Shaya-Rosenberg, a selling executive for a wardrobe association Raffi. “I do what we need to do to survive.”

Ms. Chemtob can demonstrate to that urge. Clients who can’t cough adult a money for a servant for her services have offering her an Hermès Birkin bag — one sole in May during auction for $380,000 — a solid ring, a pricey watch.

But she doesn’t take those items.

“We don’t do any of that,” she said. “I’m always promulgation people to 47th Street.” There, in a city’s solid district, clients can sell their wealth for cash, afterwards come behind to compensate her. Keeping in mind that a cost for quite nasty, and moneyed, divorces can stand into a millions.

(Gay matrimony has not nonetheless suffered a blows of a valuables battleground, Ms. Chemtob said. “Art,” she pronounced with an atmosphere of finality. “In happy divorce, art is an issue.”)

Laws change from state to state per marital jewelry. Semantics plays a part. In one box Ms. Chemtob handled, a mother-in-law gave a daughter-in-law a ring that was a family heirloom. During a justice proceedings, a mother-in-law requested a lapse of a ring. The daughter-in-law insisted it was a gift. Recognizing that she competence be compelled to lapse it, she incited a ring into a pendant.

“The father comes to me, says, ‘I was during an eventuality during propagandize and we beheld she was wearing a pendant,’” Ms. Chemtob said. “He confronted a ex-wife, who pronounced to him, ‘I don’t have a ring. Nobody asked me about a pendant..’”


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In a damaged engagement, a ring’s lapse is mostly requested. In New York law, “If a matrimony doesn’t occur — let’s assume it’s a male and a lady — she has to lapse a ring,” Ms. Chemtob said. “If they get married, it’s hers.”

If a minute from a counsel is deemed required and sent, a ring is mostly sent back, Ms. Chemtob said. But infrequently it isn’t, and “we hear that it was sole to buy a couch, given there’s a lot of passion when there’s a damaged engagement,” she said. “Eighty percent of a time, it comes back.”

The rendezvous ring, after a wedding, is a usually square of valuables that is detached from marital assets. The bride gets to keep it, no matter where a matrimony ends up.


Diane Lloyde Roth, who owns L’Armoire, a New Canaan, Conn., clothing, home and valuables boutique, has combined something of a side business out of conceptualizing new pieces from divorce remnants. She wears frog pins, purchased from a sale of a bracelet from her third spouse.

But in a box of all other jinxed jewels, there are copiousness of jewelers prepared and watchful to repurpose them. Ms. Roth, who owns L’Armoire, a clothing, home and valuables boutique in New Canaan, Conn., has combined something of a side business out of conceptualizing new lives for divorce remnants.

She took detached a client’s turquoise rendezvous ring and solid matrimony rope and remade them into a Maltese cross-style cuff. Another customer owned a vast ring — “Garish, she suspicion it was hideous, though it was a gift,” Ms. Roth pronounced — that she incited into a gold and solid ankle bracelet. She has taken diamonds from matrimony bands and placed them in lizard pins, in necklaces. She has taken pinkish and blue sapphires and a cacophony of colors in tourmaline and incited them into bracelets.

“Divorce is a genocide of a relationship, a defining moment,” Ms. Roth said. “This gives people, in my case, for a many part, women, a clarity of control.”

And a sign that life goes on. People turn trustworthy to their jewelry, pronounced Danielle Halikias, a sales consultant for M.S. Rau Antiques in New Orleans. “They don’t wish a strange intent to remind them of a sadness,” she said. “A lot of people don’t wish to partial with a stone. There’s an appetite to it, so they renovate it.”

Which creates some people officious professional in their exchange with regretful remnants. Jordan Fine of JFine Diamonds in Rockefeller Plaza tells a story of a integrate who came into his emporium one day and bought a solid rendezvous ring, labelled during about $28,000. While a would-be husband was sitting with a shop’s bookkeeper, a bride-to-be pulled Mr. Fine aside and said, “Can we accommodate with we later?”


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Mystified, Mr. Fine agreed.

She returned with a sparkling rendezvous ring, kept from a prior commitment. She told Mr. Fine she hoped to put a value toward a bigger bauble. The caveat: Mr. Fine couldn’t tell Mr. Right she had been intent before.


Ms. Roth has taken diamonds from matrimony bands and placed them in lizard pins for her customers.

“She apparently kept a ring from No. 1 and was regulating it to column adult No. 2,” Mr. Fine said. Final value: $35,000.

Mr. Fine is circumspect; he doesn’t name names. Jewelers, like psychologists and hairdressers, fundamentally know a story underneath a story, like a story of a male who was a customer of Tiny Jewel Box in Washington, where Mr. Fine does business in pinkish diamonds.

The male bought a pinkish solid for a lady a owners insincere was his fiancée. A year later, a male brought a ring behind and asked a owners to have it resized for a second hoped-for fiancée. Soon after, he returned with a third lady and asked a owners to take a mill out of a mounting. Together, a male and lady designed a new ring.

The store hasn’t seen him since, so a meditative is that that one stuck.

“He bought a ring, afterwards went selling for a woman,” Mr. Fine said.

Leslie Korngold, a semiretired counsel and publisher from Stamford, Conn., combined a choker from her rendezvous ring, after a clergyman she and her associate were saying suggested they should get a divorce. She remarried years ago, though continued to wear a strand.

“I unequivocally favourite a necklace we done it into,” she said. “Things happen. we changed forward. You can't insert emotions to discernible things.”

Thinking about gripping your rendezvous ring after a breakup? You competence not be means to.

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